It's been a while since I've been around these parts of the Community. A few years ago, I completed Tier One here (I think? I need to go back and make sure I actually finished it). And, I told Opie that I would be back when the time was right.
Well, here I am.
I actually made an account here to post about the National gathering, forgetting what I used as my username here. haha. But, after going through the member list, I remembered. Of course, I don't really go by Laxus anymore... You can call me Connor. If we know each other, it's likely from TOTJO. Perhaps from IJRS if you go back far enough.
I've been sort of drifting through the community lately. After escaping a cyber-abusive training relationship, I have been really having to question who I am. What kind of Jedi am I? Am I independent? I fear, a lot. I have been in a lot of squabbles that I regret. And, I realize that I was complicit in the drama because I even participated. I realized that I have a lot of issues I have to deal with. And, maybe I don't even deserve to be a Jedi.
I decided last week to begin going to group meetings for my addiction. It was so terrifying. But, I chose courage. I ended up not being able to share anything because I was so emotional about the experience.
Come Monday, I will be back from the Gathering. And life is going to slam into me. I'm gonna have to be ready for it.
I'm here because, mostly, of my friends Reliah and (eventually) Chris. I want to work through the Path. Also, Alex Bird and I had a nice chat about you, Opie, on the drive down. And, what he said made me far less intimidated by you. hahah.
I'll stop rambling on. See y'all around the forums.
May the Force Light Your Path.
Introduction to the Jedi Academy Online and the crazy world that is the Jedi Path.
2 posts • Page 1 of 1
- Opie Macleod
- JAO Administrator
- Posts: 5007
- Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 7:09 pm
- Location: Southern California
Being a Jedi isn't a prize. So it is not about deserving. It is about choice. Who you want to be. Not who you are in this exact moment, but who you are striving to become. How you approach life. What outlook you have, how you live, what you use to to navigate the many challenges of life. We are not defined solely by our past. We all make mistakes, take wrong turns, and find ourselves in places we never wanted to be in. But we don't have to stay there.maybe I don't even deserve to be a Jedi.
It seems you are making positive steps forward. The first steps. Many more to come. But we all know the saying about a long journey. Just take it one step at a time. Be patient with yourself and the process. I have no doubts you'll get to where you want to be and most importantly, who you want to be.